Ludlow - A Potential Pensioner’s Swansong

Mr Tahoohigh’s 58th on the 61^st walk.  19-20^th June 08

Up for it were:

Yup, Mid week Tone, Dasher, JayCee, Mr Tahoohigh, Graham Cork, Thingy, Stubmeister, Keithee, Jacko, Sparklet, Pedro, Mo Who, and Mothy

Route (14k):

Due west/south west from the castle to Mary Knoll then south east towards Orleton. Before reaching the B4361 head due west through Haye Park Wood up to High Vindalls.  Head south to Vallets and The Goggin then due east past The Green, Lower House Farm and to the Castle Inn at Richard’s Castle.  Cross the B4361 and head south parallel to it through Bury and Bilbury onto Orleton and The Boot Inn, where local buses can be caught back to Ludlow.  An additional section of 3km east to The Roebuck at Brimfield wasn’t taken due to unavailability of transport and because the pub was shut.

It took some indiscrete persuasion this year but Josephee finally got his finger out and arranged this year’s summer hike and brewery visit; a couple of nights in Ludlow, a brewery visit, and a 10 mile walk in summer sunshine.  What could possibly go wrong?? .................

Well, there could be an unfortunate clash with Ludlow’s annual festival and accordingly there could be inadequate guest houses available for the second night, and we could be split up into several locations around the west midlands; the Tom Tom could be playing up; there could be the prospect of staying in haunted hotels with druggies and rockers till 2am; there could be issues and disagreements with the first guest house regarding misunderstandings over alleged room bookings, and the possibility of sharing double beds. There could be no early breakfasts if no arrangements had been previously arranged and the walk could be delayed. The lunchtime pub on the walk may not have received the food order, 2 out of 3 pubs could be shut, only a school bus could be running from the last pub, and Pedro could end up with sore testicles!

Had this have been another episode of the ‘Apprentice’ Mr Tahoohigh could have been fired on the first day.  However, on the plus side, there were so many benefits it’s worth giving him plenty of opportunities within the next 6 years until he gets it right.

The Yup Yup replaced the failing Tom Tom, the fun in rearranging Stubbee and JayCee’s accommodation for the second night was a treat to behold.  The brewery trip was straight forward down to earth and the brewers were friendly with plenty of free beer available.  There was even time enough for Dasher to grab 40 winks in the sunshine.  A superb impromptu meal was arranged with a locally recognised chef for £6 a head later the same day; the walk was a perfect length for the aging amongst us; the weather was superb; the lunchtime stop was perfect; the curry was probably the best ever; the company was the best, as always, and the pole dance on the bus was not to be missed.

So ... marks out of ten ....... a whopping 9½ out of ten, (but could try harder), and who knows, with just another 6 years before he retires, there’ll be plenty more chances for him to try again.

Well, let’s start at the beginning, always a good place.

Thanks to Dasher, a group of us were driven down to Ludlow in his luxurious 8 seater with perfectly working parcel shelves. The M6 was chosen as the most direct route and before too long we were entering the confusing traffic system on the outskirts of Kidderminster.  Dasher’s Tom Tom was playing up but we had the substitute Yup Yup to guide us through. Unfortunately, the settings had been set for retail parks and several trips around B&Q’s and Focus’s added to the entertainment factor.  As it wasn’t discount day for retired folks it was of no value to Pedro. Exiting from the third trip around Pizza Hut, Mo suggested we had some lubrication.  JayCee slid his weight over onto his other numb cheek and declined the offer.  Pedro was ready for a swift one though, admitting that now he’s retired, his beard ensures he catches all the drips and gets best value for money. ‘The pubs are full of em at lunchtimes’, he confirmed, ‘claiming the 2 for 1 deals’.

With just a handful of weekends available, the weekend chosen amazingly coincided with the Ludlow festival, and consequently there was virtually no accommodation available on the Friday night.  Thursday wasn’t to be a problem as we could all fit into one guest house, a mile out of town though and run by a psycho from one of Hitchcock’s films in a Heath Robinson type of property better placed in a 1930’s museum.  Just for info, did you know the name "Heath Robinson" is used as shorthand for an improbable, rickety machine or contraption barely kept going by incessant tinkering. WHR was a cartoonist and illustrator!!

As we arrived, the cartoonist, Mr W.H. Robinson co-incidentally appeared and dished out the keys to the rooms.  With the prospect dawning that there was a mix up in the room bookings and that some could be sharing double beds, there was a rush to nab the keys for the single and twin rooms.  ‘If only you’d said’, uttered WHR repeatedly.  ‘Twin rooms, arrrh, if only you’d said’.  ‘Early breakfast ?, arrrh, if only you’d said...earliest we can do now is 8am.’  ‘I’m retiring, it’s too much stress,’ muttered Joe... 5 minutes later Spike rang to confirm he wouldn’t be joining us.  It was too much.  Joe popped his head into the oven.

We soon dropped our gear and grouped outside ready for the mile walk to the brewery.  Someone was missing.  No, it wasn’t Joe. We’d managed to pull him out of the oven.  A ground floor window opened and Mo’s smiling face appeared with a cuppa in his hand and a box of chocolates.

The Ludlow brewery was easy to find, having already been discovered earlier when the Yup-Yup was in action. Mine hosts duly opened up a barrel of Ludlow Gold and explained their brewing technique. The origin of the naming of the ‘Boiling Well’ brew was also uncovered.  The presentation was admirably given and much appreciated by all.  A litre of lemonade came out to assist the ailing Dasher which he appreciated even more.  A friend of mine host, who owned a nearby restaurant, the Ringway restaurant and wine bar, was coincidently present, and bartering began for a bargain early evening meal.

With time to spare we were recommended several drinking establishments in town worth checking out before we dined.  The Bull Hotel, where JayCee had been allocated a room for the second night, was definitely not recommended, adding weight to JayCee’s resolve to find an alternative destination.  With the thoughts of jazz music until 2am, rockers, drugs, and headless ghosts wandering around his bed in the middle of the night he began to consider the prospect of a night in Dasher’s van.  The willies were well and truly put up JayCee when the proprietor of the Bull agreed with his expectations, but thanks to his assistance he found him (and Stubmeister) a room at the Rose and Crown next to the church.

With the deed done the first recommended pub was the Bull ring tavern which we soon discovered had run out of ale except for Hobson’s Choice of Hobson’s Choice, and had a rough back yard overlooking a building site. Better was to come though as we bypassed the Church Inn, saving it’s reputed rating until later, and headed down under the arched gateway, over the river and up to the Charlton Arms Hotel overlooking the river.

Life couldn’t get much better, with views from the roof top terrace and armed with Wye Brew’s Butty Bach, or could it?  It was time for the prearranged gammon, egg, fresh pineapple and veg at an agreed price of £6 a head. What a feast, and served up by the owners partner complete with a pacemaker.

After struggling to stand we set off to find the Nelson for the evening, as recommended by the brewery; a useful 5 mile warm up for the following day’s walk.  Not exactly what we had in mind, following the glowing references, but Mo reminded me there was a stunning woman who begrudgingly left as we sat in the ill maintained back yard supping St Austell’s tribute.  The landlord was eccentric and forgetful, adding lemonade to everyone’s ale following Dasher’s request for a dash.  With the stunning woman gone we faced the decision as to either walk back to the Church in town or take a shortcut down the A49 to the digs.  As we were making our minds up the head brewer turned up and we agreed it was a fantastic pub !!

We returned to the Church for a quick’un but called it a night when Mothy’s eyes began to seal up.

The following morning began with a late breakfast.  Mo kindly offered up half of his sausage but there were no takers surprisingly.  Mo was so impressed with the breakfast he gave the lady a box of Roses chocolates. Heath Robinson was called in to sort out the bill and after expecting the worst, we resolved the room booking confusion and the bill without much of a fight.  Parking was at a premium around the castle but eventually we landed at the main car park on the opposite side of the town and at last met up with Sparklet, Stubmeister and Thingy outside the castle entrance, who had arrived earlier that morning.  After a couple of mug shots we set off around the north side of the castle and headed due west/south west to Mary Knoll.  The terrain was ideal for a cycle route remarked Joe.  Graham turned white at the very thought.

On to the summit at High Vindalls we sat next to the bird hide, admired the views and took in refreshments for ten minutes.  A further 4km and the first inn stop, the Castle Inn at Richard’s Castle, was eagerly anticipated.  Lo and behold it was shut and heads dropped. Probably as well as were running slightly late !? The pint at the Boot Inn would be appreciated more.

As we strolled along through the recently sprayed fields JayCee’s boots fell apart.  Blamed on the pesticide we wondered if perhaps it was that they’d only cost £13 from the Army and Navy Store.  We passed a work force from Stoke who were building a tennis court.  It was a pleasure to see them sweating so much whilst we were taking a leisurely stroll.

The Boot Inn finally came into sight with a welcoming garden bathed in sunshine.  With plentiful ale and excellent food and service we kept an eye on the time to ensure we wouldn’t miss the bus back to Ludlow.  Thingy and Sparky left and walked on to The Roebuck at Brimfield to retrieve their car and sped off to see a Sultana, and tight Pedro bought a round of halves.

The bus stop was directly outside the pub.  A bus passed at 2.45.  Joe and Keithee checked the timetable which stated 2.45.  It was the wrong timetable!  The bus was bang on time at 3pm.  JayCee found a priority seat for elderly persons and sat down.  There was a shortage of young ladies on board but the older generation enjoyed an inaugural display of pole dancing from the Yupmeister which brightened their otherwise boring day up. 

A quick look round the castle shop in Ludlow we decided to leave the castle tour for another day and sought refuge in the courtyard of the Rose and Crown with soft drinks and tea !!!!.  Mid week Tone, Graham and the Keithees thought better and supped Abbotts.  ‘Are you an early riser?’ Stubbee asked Jay Cee, as the bells from the adjacent church began to toll at the 4 o’clock mark. Silence fell at 5 past, when the bell ringer had tolled himself off.  Jetsetter Mothy began falling asleep again so we opted for an early evening to get ready for Joe’s birthday bash later.

We met up at the Charlton Arms. Joe began very sensibly on orange juice as proved by the CCTV camera which watched his every move on the balcony.  The Butty Bach proved popular again for most.

Golden Moments was the Indian chosen by Yup who had prebooked a party table.  The food and service was exceptional with free chats for the Stubbmeister and Pedro following an incorrect serving.  After the meal a birthday ice cream with candle was presented to Mr Tahoohigh and a chorus of ‘get the drinks in for the lads’ echoed round the room.  If only he could have found his credit card which had slipped out of his pocket and into JayCee’s lap, he’d have got one.  We still had one anyway, with coffees, sambuchas, brandy’s and Captain Morgan’s for Dasher, it was a perfect end to the celebrations.

As we left the young waiter deservedly gained a huge tip and JayCee vowed to have a detox when he returned home.  Graham, Midweek Tone, Dasher and Pedro wound their way back to their digs on the outskirts of the county dragging Graham away from every pub they passed.  The rest were fortunate to call into the Church Inn for nightcaps, several in fact.  Keithee admitted to being an eighth welsh. ‘Nothing wrong with that is there?’ he asked his imaginary friends sitting either side of him.

At midnight-ish, Keithee, Jacko and Joe left for their guest house.  Joe apparently got up in the middle of the night and fell over Keithee’s legs protruding out of the bottom of his bed.  It is believed Jacko had tried dragging Keithee outside because of his snoring but had given up.  JayCee and Stubmeister returned next door waiting for the bells to wake them up for breakfast.  Mo Who and Yup climbed the wooden hills and began chatting and breaking wind, as you do.  Mo slipped to the ensuite and returned 2 secs later to find Yuppers fast asleep and snoring. 

The following morning the rain began. Oh what joy. There was some confusion, as was expected, over the deposits and payments, but once they were dealt with there was time to slip back to the brewery to purchase some momentos.

As always, it was a memorable trip.  Many, many thanks go to Josephee for his tireless efforts. We wish him well for the next 6 years or so and look forward to the next summer brewery trip.

Click yup's pole for photos 

Best Regards

Yupmeister

(enjoy yer baltis)