Carsington Damn it Maunday Thursday 20th March 2008
18 were up for it, including Dan and his pal who joined us at the breakfast stop. Granpop Bill dropped out to save his hips. Nige had dropped out, Steve Machin took his place but dropped out himself at the last minute in fear of having to ride Nige’s bike.
Yupmeister, Mid Week Tone, Keithee's up for it, JayCee, Graham Cork, Dasher, Spikelett, Mr Tahoohigh, Jacko, Rob Sparklette, John Thingy, Paul Hecky Thump, Tim Mothy, Andy Mander, Andrew Owen (Andy's bro-in law) and Jon Mason
Route:
Short circuit by foot from the visitors centre through Upper Town, then Hognaston and back along the dam.
The bike ride circled the reservoir anti-clockwise with a detour to Kirk Ireton (The Barley Mow) and on to Carsington (Miners Arms) for lunch.
A brisk march from the Miners Arms north to the High Peak Trail and Hopton before the march back down to the Miners Arms.
Return bike run to the visitors centre.
It was a dry start but cloudy and hopes were high that despite a manky weather forecast the weathermen would be proved wrong. JayCee’s pockets were bulging with plastic colostomy bags to keep his possessions dry throughout the impending rain. The only problem was that he was so bulked up that he was unable to turn to face the driver during conversations in the minibus.
As we gathered and prepared for the start we stood in the entrance to the visitor centre, daring not to move to avoid opening the automatic doors and let a draft in. Not that we were nesh or anything. Outside was a model of the dam which looked flat enough. Should be an easy ride we thought……
Mid week Tone took the map and the lead and set us off on the first leg of the walk, immediately getting lost around the butterfly garden but then retrieving the correct route on to Upper Town and Hognaston, over poorly designed styles, unless you were a dog!!
Piles of logs could be seen in the wooded areas which Keithee confirmed had been left there for ecological reasons; bugs and squirmy creepy crawly things; wow. As we circled beyond the dam Yup had concerns that if the dam were to burst then we wouldn’t stand a chance; nor would the creepy crawlies. Keithee poo pooed the idea until realising it could be the last time any minutes would be taken (perhaps a good thing?). So with that in mind we speeded up and on to the top of the dam at the south east end and to a circular viewing area.
The wind didn’t half blow as we returned to the visitors centre across the dam. Andy said the left side of his face was number than his last visit to the dentists.
It was good to get out of the wind and into the café for the breakfast stop. Dan and his mate Mark (Jasper Carrot) joined us having enjoyed a lie in.
Most opted for bacon baps, complete with a hefty dusting of flour, and attempted to find seats to avoid the blasts of hot air bellowing from the heaters. One or two gannets went for the big’un, (mentioning no names - Keithee, JayCee and Dasher) although Dasher was a little disappointed at the size of his portion. Well well.
Attempts were made to displace the Kugel from its seating, a one tonne sphere of granite, before we briefly looked around Stones Island with its strategically placed viewing points. Wooden carved sculptures were also positioned around the area; one of which was a teapot which Mr Tahoohigh and Corker tried to squeeze another cuppa out of.
Spike had sorted the bikes out for us, 2 of which had extremely comfy seats reserved for himself and Yuppers. A contract was written up before the bikes and the helmets were released, which Spike tried to avoid signing. Jaycee’s struggled to balance his helmet on top of his woolly hat which he refused to take off. Several, including 2-bike Thingy, had bought their own bikes and risked not wearing safety helmets.
The first ten minutes cycle was across the dam. A very pleasant ten minutes as it was flat. At the far end the fun began with a short steep section where Yup, leading the pack, came to a sudden halt and stopped everyone else in their tracks, except for Dan and Mark (Jasper Carrot) who took great delight in showing off their expertise on 2 wheels with wheelies and spins.
Alas the light rain showers began to fall. Thankfully, after another short pull there was a long gradual decline to the first pub, the Barley Mow, at Kirk Ireton, where we chained the bikes up and briskly moved indoors.
A log fire awaited us. Hats, gloves and coats soon surrounded it and the orders for beer began. Only jugs were available. Pedro wouldn’t have stopped smiling had he been with us. Shame he was off on some exotic island far away on yet another holiday.
‘Sharp’s own’ ale was eagerly supped by most. Graham reluctantly sampled it, as it wasn’t his normal cup of tea, but he soon warmed to it.
Joe questioned the landlady of the unavailability of the Hook Norton ales which the pub was famous for providing. The landlady who appeared on several photos around the pub said she used to sell it but the locals refused to pay more than £2.25 a pint. As an alternative, Joe was offered IPA from a jug which soon put a smile on his face.
JayCee tried to palm off his old pennies at the bar, as the landlady also had a previous reputation of putting up a fight against decimalisation. After piling his coins up on the bar in an Eifel tower shape, as he so often does I am informed, the landlady refused to accept them.
Spike’s blamed his steamed up glasses, and not the amount he’d drank, when asking for another pint of snaps (Sharps). We’ll let him off this time as I’m not as thunk’ll drink he is. And Jacko stood against the fire drying off his wet ring. Without mudguards you do get well and truly splattered of course !
Reluctantly we left the pub and back into the light rain. Dan’s mate Mark (Jasper Carrot) had a rucksack drinks gadget with a long straw connected to a water reservoir. Now there’s a good idea for the future, but maybe with real ale …..
While Dan bought some cream eggs from the village shop, Joe struggled to unlock the bikes without a key. It was a long pull back towards the reservoir, before a further hour long stretch to the lunchtime pub, the Miners Arms. For Graham it was to be a while longer, having suffered a small prick, which punctured his tyre, 20 minutes from the pub.
Rob was glad to get to the pub safely, having realised the perils of not maintaining his son’s bike which he’d borrowed for the day, and almost coming a cropper on a hairpin bend.
The food and the ale were excellent, with the chicken meals and the Archer’s ales taking top marks. The liver and onion meal ordered by Mid week Tone was devoid of onions but the waitress bought him an extra portion. Not to be outdone, JayCee allegedly had a liver and onions devoid of liver……
We waited for the few to receive their puddings. Joe had ordered apple pie but the cook, Mr Newton, must have waited until the apples had dropped from the trees before baking it. While we waited, a decision to take on the short walk option was made. After all, Tone had google-earthed the route so it’d be easy! So, the grand old Mid week Tone, he had just eighteen men. He marched us up to the top of the hill, and he marched us down again. And when we were up, we were up; and when we were down, we were down. But when we were only halfway up, we were neither up nor down! We did spot several commonly known trees when we were neither up nor down on the old mineral line; the ‘Pan’ tree and the ‘Lava’ tree. The county wounty wollers don’t need to employ arborists with such expertise amongst their own staff.
Luckily, Keithee mentioned that he’d had only one meal and 4 pints, or else he’d have struggled to get up the 45 degree hill climb; unlike the rest of us.
We finally slid back down to the pub garden and collected our bikes before making a neck breaking record back to return the bikes to the visitor centre by 5pm. Oh what joy!!
The bikes were hosed down by the guy who hired them out to us. Only being able to count up to ten he accused us of nicking one of his bikes until we lent a helping hand.
Graham swore he’d never believe another word again about the terrain on future office walks. Perhaps the google-earth model Tone researched was in 2D not 3D. To be fair, we were all well and truly knackered; especially JayCee, who was at least grateful that he’d gained another qualification, an MSA (A mega sore arse).
At least with the hard work over, most could jump in their cars and return home, and the remaining few could at least relax in the pub just up the road, The Knockerdown Inn, before being picked up in the minibus.
So with a refreshing pint in mind, the remaining few limped up to the pub ……. which was shut !!!!!!!!
At least we could shelter in an outside gazebo, listening to jokes from Dashers mobile as we waited for the pub to open. One in particular regarding ‘a coke bottle … and taking your thumb off the end’…. is one worth repeating in the future. I’m sure Dasher will find it for you sometime.
Finally the landlady opened the doors for us and let us in, only for the ale to be flat. If only the walk had been!!
Regards
Yupmeister
(enjoy yer baltis)
PS Many thanks to Spike for sorting out the bike hire, and to Tone, not only for his excellent research on the terrain and the pub opening hours, but for taking up the chalice in organising yet another fine event.