Derby 17th Feb 2012                            The Viceroy 01332 209991

Up for it were Yuppy, Mid Week Tone, Jaycee, Pedro, Richee, Craigee, Ali G and Sean of the County Wounty. Keithee’s knee gave in but Mid Week Laura stepped in to take his place meeting us around 4.30 in the beer hall.

It was pointed out that only 2 of us in today’s group were retired. The other retirees were obviously too busy to come out today….

Today's Squarree was a much welcomed return to Derby's Beer Festival being held again at the amazing Roundhouse.

Unbelievably we obtained return tickets at Stoke Station at a bargain price of only £4.15 each taking advantage of the groupsaver deal with Cross Country trains.  Only problem was that we couldn't work out where the saddles were.

We gave up with the bikes and boarded the 12.33 train to Derby instead. Much to Ali Gee’s dismay there was only the one carriage, but we found enough random seats. Unfortunately a stranger taking up 2 seats next to a few of us gave up a spare seat allowing Pedro to join us ….. ‘Hope we’re not too loud for you?’, he uttered to a young lady who was trying to complete some work. ‘We’re good at spelling and colouring in if it helps!’

In under 45 minutes we were sitting in the Brunswick in Derby waiting for our double egg and chip butties to arrive.  ‘Aye ope we get wot wae thaink weeve orderd’, said Ali G, ‘he didsna same to understand mae’.  He must have translated the order correctly as the meals began to arrive after around 15 minutes with one of Yuppy’s eggs slipping off the plate and on to the carpet as it was delivered.  It was obviously easy over and sunny side up but we didn’t spill the beans to his boss.

Pegging out, Ali Gee tucked in.  'Oh no, not another Calendar shot youth, I've only just got over January'.

Oakhams Scarlet Macaw and the Welsh Croeso, or creosote, were amongst the favourites although some was spilt as Jaycee kicked the table moving in on his eggy eggy and chips.

Luckily it missed Pedro’s latest glasses case, a superior model to his pink one; being almost half an inch deeper and allowing room for a further 10 after eight mints.

We could have stayed there but that wasn’t the idea. We were very kindly allowed back over the station bridge and through the secured turnstiles, and on to the beer festival at the Roundhouse.

We’d all got our CAMRA cards so it was free entry; except for Jaycee who’d forgotten his. ‘It’s about time CAMRA membership was recorded on a database to save having to show our membership cards each time’, he blagged, and proceeded to sneak in undaunted.

Once in Ali G immediately found the CAMRA stall and signed up.

In alphabetical order we began with ‘Blonde’, from the Backyard Staffordshire brewery, where a ‘Silly Rucker’ was also available.  Not straying too far from the ‘A’s and ‘B’s we stood and enjoyed the ambience until Ali G’s legs began to wane.

An announcement over the loudspeakers encouraged us to check out the half price ales in the adjacent Carriage Room. Mid week Tone made a dash for it and quickly ordered, before being advised the offer was only available at the rear bar.  Buggers.

Entertainment was to be provided in the evening by Cold Place and Supertrump. We had to put up with Steps who were on stage during the afternoon with Mike and the Mechanics.

Back in the Roundhouse, Yuppy suggested that the best ale available was in the far corner of the room, a comment only understood by ‘Hoppy Chick’ Laura who had just arrived and was still sober.

Following in her father's footsteps she suggested trying the North Riding’s ‘Peasholme Pale’ in the adjacent corner.  ‘Just look out for the Nobbys’, she added.

There was a fantastic choice of ales available ranging from ‘Amish Mash’, which sounded familiar, to ‘Smoky Joe Stout’, ‘Ay Up’ from the Dancing Duck brewery, ‘Hopmaster’ from the Fernandes brewery and ‘Dave’ from Gt. Heck.  Ma Pardoe’s were also appearing with their ‘Original’, and Marstons even showed with their ‘Pedigree’ especially for Keithee.

‘I’ll try one of those’, said Yup at one stall and was promptly handed a half filled glass as a free sample. ‘Mmm must try that again’, he mused.  Further round he asked to try one at the RAW brewery outlet. ‘It’s Hoff’, said the barman, ‘yes, I know, but I’ll still try one please’, replied Yup.  What a decent chappie.

Craigee was most taken with the ‘Stairway to Heaven’ from the White Rose brewery, and was halfway there when he found an empty seat outside the ladies with Sean.

Mid Week Tone pointed out a free crisps stall, strategically placed next to the shirt stall with one aptly displaying ‘Does my stomach look good in this’.

There was a strange looking guy amongst the crowd wearing a top hat and a dark suit, prompting Pedro to suggest we all wore trilbies on the next squarree do. 

'Good idea Steve, we’ll all wear funny hats at the next doo.  Now where are we going again?’.

Craigee spotted D'Artagnan of the 3 Muskateers in the throng.  'Oooh, I fancy one of those' he said.

5 minutes later 2 other Muskateers were spotted in the corridor.

All for one and one for all

We gathered together around 5.30ish and headed back over the bridge to the Viceroy, and were shown upstairs by very smart waiters in full costume; and the owner, Fez. http://www.viceroy.uk.com/Derby/YourHost

Sitting amongst the brightly coloured lighting and lush surroundings we ordered poppodoms and main courses only.  We were given a choice of either 20% off everything, or 2 for 1 on main meals which we opted for.  The wine menu was reviewed by Richee who quickly agreed we should stick to Cobras at around £5 a bottle.

The food was pretty damned good though with everyone agreeing it was one of the best ever, especially at the reduced price. Working out at just over £18 each, the 2 for 1 deal had worked out very reasonable.

The bugle card came out and marks were awarded at 8 out of 10 by Ali G, purely because of the price of the wine.

Finished by 7.15ish we made our way back to the station and caught the earlier train at 7.40 instead of the 8.40 as planned, giving some of us the opportunity to slip into the White Star back in Stoke for a last tipple.  Another busy afternoon but most enjoyable.

(enjoy yer trilbies)