Steer Clear of Biddulph                28th April 2011

Up for it were:

Yup, mid week Tone, Pedro, JayCee, Granpop Bill, Keithee, Jacko, Ali G, Ian Seaweed, Nige (No el), Corky and Malc Jay who joined us at the Hanley bus station after a day’s shopping spree.

The evening began at the Glebe in Stoke close to the bus stop in Glebe Street where we were to catch the bus to Biddulph, or should we have caught it in Church Street?  Oops, just a slight error there in the old memory banks which won’t get mentioned in the notes....

The journey took a rather convoluting route via Hanley bus station (£1.90 to Hanley then £1.60 to Biddulph) and took what seemed like a lifetime. On the plus side, there was a young lady on board offering sweets but we refused of course. You should never accept free gifts we were always taught.  An older and much wiser lady said that if we should get offered tazer guns, then we should accept one.  'You may need one if you're calling in the Crown & Cushion'.  As we later found out she was right.

Having never been to Biddulph before (and now we all know why) we started at The Bradley Green, a Wetherspoons house and found a big table at the far end.  Despite the no of taps, only Abbott ale and a stronger dark beer appeared to be suitable.

Both Keithees and Nige (No-el) had just arrived and Ali G and Ian joined us a short time later.

Midweek Tone and Jacko, 2 Tasmanian devils, compared memories of their previous oz trips.  Jacko, as you'd expect, could recall details of the places better than Midweek Tone, who had only just returned. How does he do it?

After a while we decided to check out 3 other pubs which were in close proximity; The Royal Oak, The Swan (with Boddies), and the Crown & Cushion with the sort of bodies that you wouldn’t wish to spend a minute with, let alone an evening.  We quickly returned to the same table in Wethers and agreed we would probably never return to Biddulph.  Still, we’d got the Indian to look forward to........

The toilets were upstairs.  'It was like an office walk to them there toilets!' uttered Ali G.  Corky swiftly followed, but missed the step and crashed head over heels onto a neighbouring table.  The couple were somewhat surprised to see their table contents crashing everywhere but more surprised to see Corky's torso rise above them when he'd lifted himself up off the floor. Surprisingly, the restaurant accepted full responsibility, apologised, and reinstated the couples table.  Fair play to them.

Ali G was offered a taste of Yuppy’s curry whilst he waited for his dish to be served.  Yup might have known it would never come back !!

Not to be outdone by Corky, Keithee followed the trend half an hour later, but luckily no one noticed.  Although, I'm sure I heard a short round of 'She fell over, she fell over', from the other end of the table.

The final bill was £17 including wine and beers, so Biddulph had at least got something right.

With time ticking by we had to make sure of getting Corky back to the station to catch his last train, otherwise someone would have to put him up for the night.  Thankfully we made it, by catching a 7 seater taxi in lieu of the bus.  Mind you we didn’t know whether we were coming or going most of the time, as some of the seats were backward facing. At £3 the taxi was cheaper than the bus and only took 20 minutes.

Yuppers

(enjoy yer step)