You’ll never walk return alone   on the train                               30th April 2010

Up for it were:

Yup, Mid Week Tone, Granpop Bill, Keithee’s up for it, Stubbee, JayCee, Huge, DCeen, Ali G, A fine mess – Harmesh, Sean of the County Wollers, and late arrival RG Bargee

Pedro put election duty before a day out with his ‘mates’ !!  and Bolt went caravanning in Wales where it always rains instead of coming to Liverpool, where it also rains.

Outward bound train 12.13 from Stoke via Crewe at £16.50.

At Stoke station, DC confirmed he’d got a new job stuffing pork pies, but had already been given several days off including today so he could join us.

Ali G was in panic mode as he couldn’t get through to the Baltic Fleet.  This was always going to be on our itinery, but was undergoing a refurb.   Mid week Tone was harassed after being on site in a meeting which was well over time, and had only just made it in time.  We met up with Jacko, Keithee and Huge at Crewe and by the time we’d arrived at Liverpool station they were right chilled and ready for a pint.

At the station, Ken Dodd and Bessie Braddock joined us for a group photo as we waited for the rain drops to die down.  Rain had been forecast with h’ale at 2pm.  They were spot on, as we arrived at Dr Duncans at exactly 2pm. 

As usual they had a range of Cains ales including Cains FA at 5%, a golden ale with a beautifully smooth feel, brewed evidently to delight the mouth and stimulate the tongue.  Nuff said.  And Cains Indian Export Pale Ale, richly hoppy with a citrussy, grapefruity aroma.  Both very moreish.

Harmesh was quick to spot the meal deal at £5.95 which included a pint.  After dieting for 3 weeks and living on fresh air and carb free salads he was ready for anything, even the tobasco sauce straight from the bottle.

Despite having a curry later, Huge ordered chicken tikka, admitting that he was making up for the years he’d spent in the Hebrides where they’d never even heard of a curry. 

As it turned out, the orders got mixed up, and with too many fish n chips turning up he made do with one of those instead.

By 2.20pm, JayCee had got 4 ales in front of him, but managed somehow, with the help of his pals, to get through them, oh and by throwing most of one left-handed over his trousers for good luck.

In between the deluges of rain we belted down to the White Star.  A cracking Victorian pub, with super ales mainly from the Bowland Brewery.  It was Ali Gee’s round and who walked in but RG Bargee. Strange but it was Ali Gee’s round every time after that.

Still lashing it down, we Peter Kayed it down to the Cavern for a quick nose, passing the Eleanor Rigby statue on the way.  The statue contains a four leaf clover to represent nature, a page of the Bible to represent spiritual things, a football sock to represent leisure, the children’s comics Beano and Dandy to represent comedy, and four sonnets to represent romance.  Bet you're surprised I knew all that eh?

Thankfully the Baltic Fleet was open but it was difficult to see what refurbishment had taken place over the past few weeks.  Perhaps they’d washed the glasses?  Ali G was happy though and considered hanging around untill breakfast time.

A clear Summer ale and a cloudy Blonde were on tap.  JayCee ordered the Summer ale which appeared to go cloudy within minutes.

We nearly left Harmesh behind as is normal practise at this juncture; but after a count up and a check of the toilets we found him, re-grouped and set off via the China Quarter which was more like an eighth; past the Anglican Cathedral, and on to the Philharmonic.  Wow what a treat !!

Not only an amazing ale house, with spectacular toilets !   but Jaipur was on tap.  It was too difficult to turn it down despite its strength.  Above us, a blackboard displayed a menu of pies devoid however of the infamous Melton Mowbray !! 

It was right comfy in the Philharmonic which made it difficult to move on, especially for DCeen who found a suitable armchair in the corner.

Harmesh enlightened us with tales of respect and manners which his dad had taught him, including saying ‘cheers’ whenever you supped a pint.  We agreed. Cheers!!

There was no time for The Dispensary which was next on our list so we saved that one for our next trip; along with Graham Kavanagh’s.

Keithee waited for us with a smile on his face as we crossed the road.  Perhaps he'd noticed the Hairy Record shop behind him.  What's that between his legs?

The Passage to India in Bold Street was booked for 6.15pm and as before they looked after us well.  I recall the Bangla, a pumpkin curry, ordered by myself and Mid Week Tone was particularly scrummy, and the total bill only came to around £19 including tips.

Everyone bar Yuppy returned on the 20.22pm train via Manchester.  He was abandoned on route to the station by his so called ‘mates’ and was left to return alone on the 21.28 train, still with a smile on his face of course.  Now that’s never happened before…

Contact was made by Mid week Tone who agreed to subsequently wait at Stoke with Bill before catching the taxi home.  As Yuppy fell asleep the conductress checked his train ticket and woke him up as he approached Stoke Station. How lucky was that? And what fantastic service.

Take me home youth

Yuppers