Beware the Black Globules Feb 09
Up for it were
Yup, Richee-Lionel, Granpop Bill, Keithee's up for it, JayCee, Dasher, Malc Jay, Craigee 50/50, DCeen, McCeen, Ax / Wilton, Mr Tahoohigh, Utterly, and Matt the Silver Bear
The evening began with a buzz at Newcastle’s bus station around 6pm. The driver soon got the hang of the same ticket requests, ‘I’ll go wherever he’s going, thanks. Do you sell returns?’ A convoluted tour around several estates followed with us taking up the seats at the front of the bus. At one stop we picked up a guy on crutches who squeezed awkwardly between us to find an empty seat at the rear of the bus, mumbling something about seats for disabled which some gits were occupying. A young lass also squeezed on and pushed a pram amongst us. The baby took to JayCee and offered him a sweet. He refused of course. ‘Never take a sweet from a stranger’, he declared.
As we arrived at The Plough, a haze of blue flashing lights lit the sky. A fight had erupted in the bar earlier which had now thankfully calmed down. Quiet place Bignal End! The main instigator had been restrained and was being questioned by the men in blue outside the pub as he mopped the streaming blood from his brow. Trepadaciously, we crossed the road after jumping off the bus, and entered The Plough with slight caution but raging thirsts.
It was a while before some of us got served, acceptably of course, but the Skinners’ – ‘Splendid tackle’ was finally poured and was well worth the wait. Beardee’s brave attempted appearance failed after he’d earlier endured a trip to the dentist’s chair, with the loss of blood being too much to bear. Mr Tahoohigh, however, did turn up eventually after sitting outside the pub for half an hour, traumatised by the commotion.
The following months outing to Brum was mentioned and Utterly announced he sadly wouldn’t be around for it. He was off to Marrakesh and Vietnam, not at the same time obviously, but would carry out a scouting mission for a future squarrite event.
As time was limited, we moved on swiftly to the ‘Mucky Duck’ (Black Swan) where Oakham’s JHB was on tap. Dasher spotted pork pies at the bar and graciously returned with several big buggers and a sharp knife, as several slobbering squarrites looked on. Mmmmm. Granpop Bill and ‘Keithee’s up for it’ were most grateful after missing out on a promised Wright’s pie after work which they’d been working their selves up to.
Thornbridge Wild Swan, Abbeydale Moonshine, and some dark beer which Granpop Bill discovered were available. Matt ‘Silver Bear’ and Chris ‘Axe’ finally turned up, completing the numbers for the evening. Talking pies turned to health issues and Jaycee explained how recently he’d seen big black globules drop across his eyes during a meeting and had experienced a curtain effect. There’s nothing unusual in this though we thought. It was a county wounty wollers bored meeting after all. With that in mind we pulled ourselves together ready to move on. However, a suggestion to stay put and miss out on the beer fest at the football club, was raised by Dasher and swiftly seconded. Joe’s watch was still on summer time who had assumed we had got hours to spare. The beer festival, for now though, would have to wait for another year.
The wallets came out for more beer and ye olde ‘Where’s yer wallet gone’ rang out, bringing back happy memories of DCeen’s experience in Prague.
Axe gave an impressive demonstration of how to pump a rifle which we would need to carry out when we go clay pigeon shooting later in the year, but got that excited we thought he’d shot his load.
‘Another half then before the curry’, suggested Utterly, who unfortunately was going to miss out on his first experience of the Audley beer festival. ‘Oh go on then’. . . . . . . . .
After a ten minute walk we bagged some delightful wines from the offie, before entering the New Royal Balti. As usual the service and meal was excellent. ‘The nan breads were exquisite’, commented JayCee as he recalled the thrill of rolling the biggest cherry ever around his mouth.
It’s mostly a blur now but it was a cracking night and at only £13 each, fantastic value. The return journey was bumpy but at least we’d all made it back in one piece. Here’s to next year’s festival !!
Yuppers
(enjoy yer baltis)