Stafford            4/7/ 08

Keithee and Pedro were out sauntering along the Gritstone way, Mid week Tone was out of sync after a holiday in Croatia thinking it was mid week, and several others sent their apologies.  So up for it this time were: Yuppers, JayCee, DCeen, Granpop Bill, Craigee, Richee, Axe and Scottee.

In the run up, DCeen had spent many an hour on the phone attempting to hire a minibus at a best value rate for 9, eventually opting for the public bus service 101 at £3.70 return.  An 8 seater would have been enough as it happened, with Mid week Tone dropping out with jet lag at the last minute.  Thank goodness DCeen’s been attending chilling out classes.  The clan therefore began to gather at Newcastle’s bus station, Yup crept up on Granpop Bill and DCeen crept up on Yup; how creepy was that?   The Beardee boys had planned to set out by taxi and meet us in Stafford at 6ish; a likely story.

The sun was beating down turning the bus into an incinerator.  ‘At least the heaters aren’t on’, noted Bill, who had been regularly monitoring energy waste during his free travels with his bus pass. 

JayCee was ready and waiting to meet us on arrival at Stafford station and guided us through the park and past some cheap chicks.  The expensive birds had been stolen and eaten evidently.

Obviously the taxi driver bringing the Beardee boys into town hadn’t taken heed of Stoke’s warning signs which warned of the horrendous delays anticipated in the wilds of Parkhall due to resurfacing works.  Surprise, surprise, they would be late !!!

Our first visit was to be the Yard, a new pub within a new development, with lager, pedigree, and smoothflow.  It goes without saying that we didn’t stay long.  The timing coincided with the arrival of the Beardee boys.  As JayCee led us on to Joxer Brady’s for a quick’un,  Scottee revealed a pocketful of carrier bags,’ just for emergency use only’, he declared.

The short walk to the beer festival at the Gatehouse Theatre took us past the impressive County Wounty buildings.  We were really impressed and swiftly moved onto the festival.  This festival was Stafford’s first in 26 years and sported a host of ales within a 30 mile radius.  DCeen soon fell foul of a Hairy Helmet after necking a witch and later regretted opting for fancy names as he does in horse racing.  ‘Now, where’s the foxes hat?’ he asked, after Craigee revealed there were also toilets upstairs.  ‘fox it’, said JayCee who had been running up and down the stairs to the toilets downstairs since arriving.

County Wounty Steve was introduced to us by JayCee, but the pull of more real ale and the pom pom of the drums filling the room as the band began setting up, along with the regulatory ‘one two, one two’s’ put a stop to socialising,

The Salopian Golden Thread was disappointing to JayCee who was spotted taking the easy option and throwing it away.  Jaipur took the accolade of being amongst the favourites on the night, although there were many excellent ales to choose from.  ‘How big’s a gallon? asked Richee,  ‘Is it 72 pints?’. Coming from a loss adjuster it’s no wonder Direct Line are going down the pan.

As time ran out, commemorative glasses were returned and any surplus beer tokens were refunded or handed into the charity box.  One or two retained their trophies and ignored beer festival rules of bagging up their glass before exiting, and walked on with gay abandon through the streets of Stafford to the Indian.  Perhaps this was why Scottee had bought his carrier bags!!

The snappin at the Malabar together with the service was ‘gravy’, as Yupmeister junior says.  As the meal came to an end, JayCee began to receive numerous phone calls from McCeen who agreed that double brandies be ordered by his dad to celebrate his promotion.  ‘What’s that? Get yer dad to use his credit card if he hasn’t got any money left on him!!  What’s that? Tell him to get a bottle cus it’ll be cheaper!! ‘.  

As normality dawned, Richee took on the mantle of attempting to buy a bottle off the waiter.  He tried but he failed; the waiter wouldn’t sell us one.  There were no full bottles available. ‘How about half a bottle then’, he asked.  ‘Deal or no deal?’.  Eventually his negotiating skills let him down, but fair play, double Martells were eventually served and paid for by Richee at a fair deal of £25.  ‘Mediocre’ said Craigee.  ‘Nice and small but perfectly rounded’ said Chris.  ‘We can thank Mike when he returns.’ said JayCee.

The bill arrived and JayCee deputised for Keithee in sorting it out.  Craigee said he’d got a telephone on him with a built in calculator to work out the bill but by the time he’d switched it on the bill was paid.

Scottee and Granpop Bill agreed to arrange a future do and Richee volunteered to arrange a do in Leek.  DCeen agreed to arrange a brewery trip in Macclesfield in September, and JayCee agreed to check out first class train tickets for this year’s London trip in October.  It was all going swimmingly well, but it was time to catch the bus.  DCeen was seen falling over on the bus and Craigee began taking loads of photos before he pressed the stop button ‘in error’ at Tittensor.  The driver wasn’t amused and failed to stop at Trent Vale when he pressed the buzzer again, and continued on to Newcastle.  It was to be an early night for the owdies, whilst the youngsters played on into the night.

Cracking

Yuppers

(enjoy yer baltis)