Nip’pin to Manchester  18^th Jan 2008   

 

 

Craigee went down with the flu along with anticipated newcomer Texan Scott; Huge was decorating, Dasher couldn’t get a lift, Jacko’s dad tumbled down the stairs and Pedro was on yet another holiday. So there remained just Richee, Keithee, JayCee, Mid week Tone, Granpop Bill and Yup, who were up for it.

 

 

The squarrites gathered on the platform at Stoke as Richee produced his joke of the day.

 

‘Paddy went to the doctors and said he wasn’t feeling well. The doctor asked him to drop his trousers and bend over.  The doctor spent the next ten minutes extracting ten pound notes from Paddy’s bum. Finally he added it up and it came to £1,990 pounds. ‘Aha’ said Paddy, ‘I knew I wasn’t feeling too grand’.’

 

Luckily the train pulled in before we heard any more.  Chris Wilson and his wife were also on the platform attending the same beer festival but only caught the rear end of the joke. Chris mistook JayCee for Colin Walton, but it was pointed out that Colin Walton was much much older!

 

There was no time for even a coffee on the train as it expressed its way up to Manchester.  Tone revealed he’d not touched a drop of ale since the new year except for just a couple of pints the previous night in training for the festival.  Keithee declared he’d hadn’t sucked on any nuts for a week.  We kept our distance.

 

Instead of taking the tram this year when we arrived in Manchester, we ventured forth by foot, heading off to check out the Smithfield pub before last years favourite, the Marble Arch.  The Smithfield was holding it’s own mini beer fest, sporting jugs of ale at the rear of the bar, in addition to a line of pumps along the front of the bar. The pub was packed with groups of ale anoraks judging and marking the ales.

 

JayCee opted for a Little John (or Joan) from the Milestones brewery. The favourite choice was the White Park Blonde from Bedfordshire although she wasn’t on her best form this lunchtime.  Bill spotted the fitting ‘brown hatters’ (Dark Hatters). We finished off as we squeezed around a pool table in the bar, before heading out into a rain storm.  A County Wounty council wagon sped past (obviously break time) spraying JayCee’s best C’n’A trousers.

 

The Marble Arch was also very busy but we eventually found somewhere to rest ourselves and dry off. JayCee went for the local ‘Lagonda’, whilst the Oakham’s ‘Raucous reindeer’ prompted a phone call to Mr Tahoohigh.

 

The food was up to its usual high standard; especially the real beefburger which was the ‘best ever’.  The coleslaw however looked slightly weary according to Richee.

 

Bill disappeared for a while for a tom tit, or so he said.  We reckon he paid a visit to the microbrewery at the back to get some ideas for the squarry brewery to be constructed in his garage.

 

Brewery chat changed to planning future events again and included Audley in February, and Crewe, Chester, Nottingham, Shrewsbury and Brum in forthcoming months.  Richee’s prompts for someone to organise a trip to the Ladies Day at Chester Races backfired as he was cornered into taking on the mantle.  Here’s looking at you kid …….

 

The floor of the pub, which was originally a brewery, sloped down from the front door. Strange how we didn’t notice any level differences as we left.

 

In the ‘Manchester Winter Ales festival’ the ‘Full Circle’ by West Berks was a superb starter.  An apt weight-watchers pen was loaned to Yup by Chris Wilson’s wife !!  Attracted by the frilly pens on sale at the hospice charity stall, JayCee made a calculated purchase of a cuddly teddy with ‘I love you’ on the sole.  Who was going to be the lucky recipient??

 

Nips (third pints for the uninitiated) were available for anyone struggling to keep up.  Despite this option JayCee stuck to halves, but by dripping most of it into his colostomy bag his halves gradually turned to nips, then noggins.

 

The lady from the hospice stall made a play for us with a book of raffle tickets asking us to ‘put your finger on it to rip it off’.  What an offer.  We bought the whole book between us.

 

Incredibly, Copper Dragon’s ‘Golden Pippin’ was located and was generally voted even better than the previous ales tasted today.  It was so good that Granpop Bill’s tie slipped out to set a proposed trend for future events.  Squarry club ties and frilly pens were suggested as future merchandise.

 

Across the road somewhere, we found a couple of taxis.  The taxi driver recommended an indian restaurant called ‘sergeant’.  The decision was left to Richee who chose a non-alcoholic Indian, with ice served on plates, situated directly opposite last years choice. Wow.  Rightfully, Richee’s biriani arrived late, so he was forced to suck longfully on a cube of ice.  ‘Bless you’, we said to Granpop Bill, as he sneezed into his jalfrezi.  ‘A blessing in disguise’, he replied, referring to the fact we had no alcohol, ‘we can have a pint in town now’.

 

Finally another bill came, and we were pleasantly surprised to pay just £11 each.  Not too bad for rice n ice.

 

The buses were every couple of minutes so we were quickly back into town and on to the infamous Peveril of the Peak.  It was the first time Granpop Bill had been upstairs on a bus since he was a lad.  Did they have buses then?

 

Table football was spotted in the Pev, but we weren’t as quick off the mark as the guy in trainers to smack our coins onto the table.  He wasn’t as trendy as Granpop Bill though with his tie still dangling outside his cardy.  Ah well, on to another pub then; the Briton’s Protection, with its cosy rooms.  We stood in the corridor!  Tone said he’d had enough now really.  JayCee  agreed, and said he didn’t want any more or else he’d be bad. So we supped on Hennesy’s whisky as we watched their lemonades go down.

 

At the station, Granpop Bill disappeared yet again to the toilet, whilst the rest of us headed for the cappuccino bar.

 

Another cracking Manchester outing but not a recommended Indian.  Anyone remember its name??

 

Yuppers

(enjoy yer baltis)