Another Chuffing Mystery                    7th December 2007

 

Up for this year’s Mystery Curry Night were the usual suspects along with a squarrette and a divineshire farmer for the very first time.  Nice-one Matt and Moonbeam were late fallers and Beardee couldn’t be bothered…. Or could he?  Dan the Man was held up and had given up, so his seat was taken up by Divine Steve who was denied the prospect of sitting Zollette on his knee for the night.

 

Click on the train for photos

 

 

 

Our one and only driver, Ronnie, turned up bright and early, having started with his first pick up at Penkhull at 5pm.  After a quick run through with Ronnie, Yup called the troops onto the bus.  Just before we set off, Mid Week Tone expressed the thanks of the squarrites (and squarrette) to the Yupmeister for all his efforts throughout the year by presenting him with a bottle of Jamesons.  Many thanks chaps.  And with that the bus pulled off down the A500 and then eastwards along the A50.  Ronnie turned up the slip road at the Meir tunnel only to return to the A50 again before hitting Blythe Bridge. 

Despite all the preparations and dry runs Yup wasn’t prepared for the road works which had suddenly sprung up overnight, but Ronnie’s sat nav exploded into action and he expertly diverted the bus to our first stop, the Foxfield Railway Bar.

 

The staff at the Foxfield, who are all voluntary I believe, had agreed to open up especially for us tonight, including the engine sheds for those interested in seeing Thomas the Tank Engine gleaming under the Christmas lights.  The Foxfield arranges rail ale trips on a regular basis, combined with authentic Indian meals.  Perhaps we should include one on the itinery for 2008?

 

One of the clues for this first stop had almost been rumbled by Mr Tahoohigh who had guessed the album correctly but not the right track; ‘This is not a wind up, and definitely not on 'songs from the wood'.  This had referred to the track ‘Locomotive Breath’ on their aqualung album where ‘Johnny stole the handle, and the train….’.  Hard lines Joseph.  I told you the clues were easy though this year.

 

Pork pies and sausage rolls were laid out for us and a quartet of real ales were on offer.  As we stood around gradually absorbing the toxic liquids, Santa entered the room, brandishing a walking stick and a collection bucket for the Foxfield Railway volunteers.  Grunts and groans echoed around the room until Santa could take no more and he revealed himself as the one and only Beardee to the astonishment of all around.  The days of trying on the red suit and disguising his nose had finally taken it out of him as he sat down to a well earned pint of ale with Jackie sitting on his knee.  For some strange reason he was quite happy to remain sitting.

 

A quick ‘thank you to the staff’ and an ‘all aboard’ announcement was made.  Divine necked a pint of lager in 3.6 seconds, much to the amazement of Jay Cee, before we set off on a 20 minute run, with ‘ooohs’ and ‘arhs’, as Ronnie feigned stops at Tean, before taking a narrow country lane to the next pub, The Robin Hood at Bramshall.

 

Oakham’s JHB was connected up for us as we squeezed into the lounge area, although some of the keener ones may have missed out.  Several took up darts in the bar where someone attempted to clear the place by letting rip.  A party of 50 revellers began to turn up for a pre-booked meal, wishing that they’d turned up on a different night.

 

The duck keeping the door ajar was ‘almost Tuck’, who was of course a good mate of Robin Hood.  Another dead give away.  The pub is frequented by Heavy Steve Machine but even he failed to spot the clues!!

 

When we returned to the bus it was time for the winner of the ‘No-bell’ prize to be announced.  There had been some interesting guesses this year ranging from Singapore by Sid (who wasn’t with us) to Manchester by Marky.  Congratulations went to Spike who had spotted the Red Herring when the cartoon clue had been issued.  ‘Look at my belt’ was plain enough where a ‘red herring’ logo could literally be spotted on my belt which I’d worn under my sunken chest.  The cartoons were from a pub near Uttoxeter which we eliminated as it had no character.  The Green Man at Milwich was also ruled out on account of its size (shame because it’s a cracking little pub) and the Star Inn at Church Leigh is now closed.

 

A chillie draw was on the cards again with 5 guessing Uttoxeter; namely Richee, Granpop, DCeen, Mr Tahoohigh, and Sparky.  All wrong of course but these were the closest to the venue.

 

Ronnie drew the chillies out of the balti dish one by one, 4 red and one green and finally selected this year’s winner, Sparky, who had come second the year previous.

 

So finally we set off to the Indian where we were to take over the whole dining area.  Only 2 other people were dining but they soon moved on as we grew louder.  The Ruchi restaurant in Abbotts Bromley was previously just a pub, The Royal Oak, until just a year or so ago and is now building a good reputation in the area.  Abbotts Bromley, is famous of course for its traditional ‘Horn Dance’ which it stages every September.  Antlers are worn and one of the named characters is Marian.  Hence the clues ‘lock-in’ and ‘Richie - Lionel (Blairs) dancing shoes’.  It was so obvious!!  And for anyone wondering where the ‘duck’ and ‘grouse’ were, well these could be found in the bar if you had managed to take a look.

 

Poppodoms, starters and drinks were served without delay before Yup attempted a run through of this year’s highlights, many of which were drowned out in the odd shaped room.  The full review can of course be found on the web site when I finally get time to update it, for anyone interested.

 

Yup’s first duty of embarrassing the ‘last to pay’ was made difficult this year, with latecomers Lancelot, Mark and Steve who could not really be blamed for their late deposits.  So the award this year was switched to the first to pay presented to the nutty professor Keithee ‘I’m up for it’, who is always first and always up for it.  Santa was beckoned from the Beardee table to present the various awards from his sack.

 

Mid week Tone was presented with a bottle of red African wine, to thank him for his alements, and to help in replacing one of the bottles he had been forced to pour away with much regret at the customs desk on his return from Africa.

 

A well balanced bottle of red went to our first retired squarrites Jacko who had just returned from Oz, and a tracker went to Pedro to ensure he doesn’t go missing in the future.  Beardee’s memorable, fine, smooth bowling skills of 12 months earlier was recalled and Santa presented himself with cans of ‘extra smooth’. Yuck.

 

November’s trip to London was highlighted by the major talking point of a certain taxi ride by Ax.  A black cab money box was presented to him with a personalised nameplate - tAXi.  Shame he was out of his tree and the deed was not appreciated at the time.

 

Several thanks were handed out including thanks to Santa who is only seen of course once a year, to Colin who would be entertaining us on the way back later, the Ruchi and our one and only Ronnie.

 

A balti dish lid was grabbed by Beardee and used in poses for the camera.

 

The journey back was slightly more straight forward with just one drop off before the Westbury, near Blythe Bridge where a police van sat in wait.

 

Col led the sing song and plucked his ukulele, as Beardee conducted with his wand for the very last time.

 

The Beardee boys took up the rear seats and were soon seen snoozing like nodding dogs on the back shelf.

 

Another chuffing good mystery.

 

 

Now, where to next year???

 

Regards

Yupmeister