The Unicorn, Coachmaker, Globe and Mango Tree – Friday 30th March 2007

 

Madhatters up for it were:  Yup, Mid-week Tone, Pedro, Spikelet, Jaycee, Craigee, Stevey 60/40 Phone a friend, Chrissy 70/30 Ask the audience, Keithee's up for it, Triglett, DCeen, Scottee Free and Downsize Dave.

Beardee let us down complaining of a headache!!

 

 

DCeen, up at 4.30am, frog-legged it back from a day’s hol in gay pari to be with us for this local squarree, commencing at The Unicorn in Hanley duck.  (All expenses paid of course on his private industry outing, but we won’t mention that).  He was in fact attending a meeting which 70/30 considered could be done much easier and cheaper by teleconferencing as no-one can argue back.  DC had doubts about that one.

 

Pedro was discussing his latest major project of buying a cheap computer, and now he’s retired he was after an even cheaper deal.  Poor thing.  Sinclares were around when he began looking.

 

Spikelette, making a rare appearance because it happened to be close to home, bounced into the Unicorn.  He purchased his usual ration of crisps as he passed the bar, complained about the cost of a pint, and consequently tried to sell his crisps off at 2p each to recoup his money.  Stevey 6040 suggested he should have bought French fries instead so that DCeen would have felt more at home.

 

There were various exchanges of money taking place.  Lucky the local constabulary weren’t around.  The excellent choice of ales usually found at the Unicorn weren’t available sadly so we decided to move on to The Coachmakers.  As is the norm, we waited for Jaycee to finish his ale.  ‘If I drink that I’ll be crawling up the road’, JayCee declared.  Whats new?’ we all thought.

 

On to the Coachmakers Arms in Lichfield Street and a multitude of handpulls faced us.  Mauldons Cuckoo’ was a gorgeous light and golden variety, just like we prefer it.  Pedro took to the ‘5 bells’, a dark beer by Shardlow served deliberately in a straight glass which he struggled to get to grips with.  Craigee was back on the lager; obviously still undecided over his newly found taste of real ale.

 

There aren’t too many alleys to the back-yard bogs like the one at this gem of a pub. A great escape for someone though who had found refuge and thrown up in it.  Several popped out for a sniff, except for Craigee who slipped into the ladies, again, unnoticed apparently !!  The ‘Cuckoo’ died so the ‘Tower – Spring Equinox’ was our next equally quaffable victim. 

 

Downsize Dave made an unexpected appearance at The Coachmakers as we were about to leave for the Globe, so we held on for a minute or two which provided Craigee with an outlet to have another tinkle.

 

Setting off for the Globe, Trig was concerned that the Indian may not be licensed and mapped out a list of offies in his head before being reassured that a wine list would be available.  The Globe is not one to be recommended unless your forte is being served smoothflow by 2 butch dolls whilst your ear drums are blasted by enormous speakers with the sounds of ‘Ay baby, ooh aah’.  They dunner get much rougher.

 

As we expected, we were informed that our booked table wasn’t quite ready when we got to the Mango Tree, and that we would have to wait in the lounge and buy extortionately priced drinks whilst the table was prepared.  A clever ploy by many restaurants these days.  One of the waiters immediately recognised Craigee (well they couldn’t forget him really) and offered him a bottle of either red or white wine to be served with his meal.  After failing to decide which one to have the waiter gave up and placed bottles of both red and white wines on the table for him.  Another good ploy.  Well done Craigee.

 

The help-yourself buffet was plentiful and pretty tasty.  Trying to get a drink however, was proving frustrating for the Yupmeister despite calling on several waiters.  Eventually, after blowing his top a bottle arrived and the bugle mark lifted.

 

A minibus was hailed after we’d finished and after standing outside for an eternity our saviour Kev miraculously turned up and wizzed most of us back home.

 

Regards

Yupmeister

(enjoy yer baltis)