Jalsa Night - Friday 28^th April 06

Swingers up for it were: Yup, Richee, Ali Gee, R G Bargee, Bolt from the Blue, Pedro, Stubbee, Argumentative Ade, Keith Crafty-hold and Triglett.  There was no response from Jaycee for this one but having spent a couple of days throwing up in Vegas he can perhaps be forgiven on this occasion.  Celebrating a wedding anniversary in style obviously doesn’t agree with him.  Craigee and Scottee letting us down on the night will never be forgotten, despite much grovelling.  Why has Craigee’s garden wall been rebuilt on the scunt??

The evening began early for Pedro, being persuaded to down a quick’un at the Westbury, by Picasso who had dropped him off before returning home to paint another mural.  The evening nearly came to an abrupt end for Yup as he emerged through the hole in the hedge to be frightened to near death by Stubbee who had hidden in the shadows.  Picking himself up off the floor and managing to collect Pedro on route, the threesome made their way by foot to the Orange tree to meet up with the other squarrites.  ‘Lollipop lady’ Pedro ensured we looked both ways as we crossed the dual carriageway sections opposite from the Westbury !!??

Lionel was already supporting the bar at the Orange Tree, supping a pint of Guinness and getting to know the young barman !!  The barman also acknowledged the fact that Yup was a nice boy and was impressed by the fact he’d been barred from the pub some 30 years ago, bless.

Out of the blue came bolt from the blue, followed by AA, Crafty Hold, Triglett, Ali Gee and R G Bargee.  Triglett recalled a hen party held at the Orange tree many years ago and the fun the girls had had throwing some poor blokes pants around above his head.  They had called the game ‘Trig in the middle’ although he declared it had nothing to do with him!!  He never did get them back!!

There was time for a swift half for some before the decision to venture forth was made to check out the recently refurbished London Tavern at a cost of ¼ million quid.  Sadly, they’d have been better off spending it on some real ale.  The only drinks available were Hancocks HB and Boddingtons, neither of which were drinkable so we left them and moved around the corner to the Castle Mona; even the Bombardier and Abbott ales back at the Orange Tree were preferable.  What a difference.  Bombardier and Pedi were available and as we left later we discovered Flowers was also on in the other bar; bugger. 

There were no pork pies to be had but Ali s’pied some large baps which partly made up for it.  Talking of baps, Trig just happened to mention ‘men and motors’ an intellectual documentary type of programme, which he described in detail to us.  We were spellbound.  Unable to remember the number of the sky channel RG Bargee instantly confirmed it was no 131 - The Discovery Channel !!  So much for revising for his exams.  He may have had no idea of the bus times back to neck-end, and doesn’t buy any beer, but at least we all know now what channel men and motors is on…..

Clambering over the pile of bap crumbs in front of Ali after a visit to the gents, Trig and Pedro recollected their fears of heights, cliff faces, tall buildings etc. and both agreed that they shared similar mentalities; oooh, spooky.

AA, Crafty and Richee were dragged away from the bar to embark on the walk to the Indian.  Sadly we’d run out of time to call into the Museum.  Tears streamed from Pedro’s eyes at the thought of missing it out, as we slipped through the byways and alleyways and Stubbees Walk to the Indian.  Ali was surprised to find we could get through as he’d spent many a night gritting the streets in the area and was confident we wouldn’t find a way through.  Probably too busy eating baps…..

A long table awaited us.  We then awaited a long time to be served until Triglett blasted the owner, a past acquaintance from an Indian cottage in Boslem.  Pedro wished he’d bough a tin of alloo chat with him, he was so hungry. 

Trig expertly ordered several bottles of Californian wine, and eventually the food was ordered, including the obligatory ‘crisps’ and chutneys along with alloo and chicken chats for the hogs;  Stubbee, Pedro and Triglett.  The special biriani came highly recommended and we weren’t let down.

At around 9.30 ish it was 2 pies less trek time for Ali Gee as he’s normally sitting up at the Royal Oak at Harriseahead at this time scoffing pies with R G Bargee.  (It was rumoured that Stubbee scoffs 3 wrights pies every Wednesday and is now on 5 a day in training for the pie factory!!)  Reminiscing later Ali scuttled off for an impromptu fandango in the toilets to work off his baps. 

The food was excellent and commended by all.  Crafty, not yet converted to real ale, also commended the lager.  AA mentioned an Indian in Dubai he could recommend, so we’ll add it to the ever-growing list of possibles if we ever win on the lottery.  Pedro proposed a short walk from John O’Groats to Lands End when we’ve retired.  Yup agreed providing we visited every Indian en-route and Pedro didn’t use his lollipop when crossing roads.

Ali attempted to blow the candle out in the heated tray but failed.  Surprising really, with his years of experience with candles, the only source of power in neck-end.  It was however, way past his bed time and he was buggered after his improvised fandango.  RGee took his arm and led him off to the bus station.

Bolt from the Blue and Richee agreed to jointly write up a short review of the restaurant, but I haven’t seen them yet!!  The ‘You’ve been Bugled’ calling card came out and marks were awarded.  7 or 8 out of 10 was first intimated until we were told in no uncertain terms that we couldn’t place any last orders of sambucas or brandies  The marks plummeted long with the tip.

Yupmeister

(enjoy yer baltis)

PS Ali Gee never had one bap…………..allegedly!)