D Day landing (Or – Sat-Navs on the Blink?) Click here for photos
Friday 31st March 06
A long time in coming, but D-Day had finally arrived. A potential army of 20 were up for this one with 2 weeks to go. As the day neared the deserters dropped like flies and went awol leaving definates Yup, Pedro, Jaycee, Keithee I’m up for it, Mid-week Tone, Jacko and Triglett. No firm response was received from the uncontrolled builders although whispers confirmed that they would catch up with us in Derby.
At Stoke station Jaycee was spotted wandering about on the platform and was pulled back from the brink of getting lost again as has been known on several previous occasions on station platforms. Triglett, who was going to meet us at Blythe Bridge threw us all out of sync by turning up with a retired and satisfied grin on his face. The 13.30 train from Stoke station was bang on time with plenty of empty seats. A search through all the carriages confirmed Jacko had missed the train; but we later found out that he’d had a bout of bird flu or something similar, but it didn’t appear fatal. The closest we were to come to ‘smooth’ today, was going to be the train journey. The Virgins appear to have finally got it just right. Pedro came clean that he was indeed wealthy, despite the fact he never buys a round, and had selfishly bought himself 500 packs of ’12 days’ ale from Hook Norton where he’d dragged his wife Joan off to a few days earlier. Jaycee was previously unsure whether he’d make today cus of his prior appointment with the queen. Asked how the queen was, Jaycee confirmed that Carol was doing ok. Pedro, too mean to put a quid credit on his phone, successfully got sympathy from Keithee whilst sporting his new hanky-free phone, and borrowed a real phone to report home and check on the health of his goldfish.
Out of the station and directly across the road the first pub, the Victorian Midland Hotel could be seen. But this wasn’t on the itinery researched and proposed by Camra expert Mid-week Tone. Instead we headed right and within a couple of shakes found ourselves entering the Brunswick inn, the oldest purpose-built railway inn allegedly. Wow, what a find, 18 or so hand-pulled ales and its own brewery. Spoilt for choice, Keithee opted for a pint of Pedi !!??. For the rest of us, the ‘house grog’ went down very well but the next pint of ‘Station Approach’ was top banana as they say! Jaycee, back on the ale after a lay-off, dropped down to a half, unusually !! We all agreed with Triglett that you have to make the best of your first 10 years retirement, but there was just one minor hurdle for most of us.
The uncontrolled builders were not to be seen; perhaps they’d catch up with us at the next pub.
Starving hungry, we reluctantly agreed to leave dining until we got to the second pub which had a reputation of serving pork and stuffing. Keithee had only had a spoonful of honey for breakfast (and just 15 rounds of toast!), and Pedro had been fighting with a kipper. A quick visit to the toilets which was mysteriously positioned very close to the brewing vessels as it happened, and we were back on the road to the second pub, the Old Silk Mill.
Devoid of chevrons, Pedro was quick to point out the give way markings as we trundled across town to the Old Silk Mill. He loves his job !!
Unfortunately, the much anticipated hand-pulls weren’t on show at the Mill. The pub had changed hands just a few weeks previous, but despite our disappointment, most of us ordered very quaffable pints of London pride.
We wanted stuffing of course and the young wench agreed. Her baps were offered up which were very tasty and came complete with chips, but there was no stuffing available. Triglett turned down her baps with Keithee explaining to her that he wasn’t allowed solids just yet.
A discussion about hairy armpits emanated from the food order…. Keitheee had requested stilton instead of brie with his steak baguette, cus he doesn’t like the French……… hence hairy armpits.
The uncontrolled builders were not to be seen; perhaps they’d catch up with us at the next pub.
Keithee rang around the office to get a contact phone number and surprisingly managed to get their extension numbers in the office which he eventually realised were of no use. In one last desperate attempt he managed to find one of their mobile numbers but only tuned in to the sounds of a rorcus background sound of another pub.
There were a couple of light rain showers as we finished, so we delayed leaving for a couple of minutes so that Keithee wouldn’t get his hair wet. Setting off we passed the gable end mural which we all failed to spot !!.
On our travels we passed (without stopping!) the Dolphin and the Standing Order, (a Wetherspoons pub previously an old Nat West bank) which we would encounter hopefully on our next visit. Turning right we entered the Bishop Blaise, the third pub.
No Oakhams was available as we’d expected; only Landlord. Beggars can’t be choosers. Beers in, we made our way to the cool courtyard at the rear. At this point we all agreed that Jaycee was the only one amongst us with a memory that lasts longer than 2 minutes. We recounted the pubs we’d passed including ‘Jorrocks’ which only he could remember. At least that’s what we thought he said.
Group photos were taken as we relaxed and prayed for more strike days so that we could enjoy further away days like today. As one photo was taken, a swift movement from Jaycee helped to prove his pint had been fully drank!! The truths in the picture !! or is it??
The uncontrolled builders were not to be seen; perhaps they’d catch up with us at the next pub.
Moving on we bumped into quarrelsome Ade who had made his own way to Derby in search of the team via Nottingham, Manchester and London. Passing a church the verger obviously knew we were Stoke fans as his bells chimed out ‘we hate Nottingham Forest, we hate ……..’ ; unless he’d been to Wetherspoons of course.
Our final pub was another Wetherspoons convert, the Babington Arms, where lo and behold, the 3 remaining builders, Rob, Keith and Tony could be found out of control and much the worse for wear, after consuming nearly every one of the endless number of ales that were continuously being chalked up on a blackboard. Having got lost en-route to Derby, with a faulty sat-nav team, they’d decided to set off in reverse in the hope of bumping into us at some point; but having found Mecca, and not wishing to get lost again, they decided to stay put.
After sampling the cherry flavoured ale, amongst others at £1.35 a pint, we staggered off in search of the Shalimar, leading the ‘sat-navs’ just in case. The Masala Art looked a possible venue for next time and the realisation to Trig that he’d been here before finally hit him. See what I mean about memory !
The attention and hospitality at the Shalimar was second to none; especially after Keithee explained we’d be putting a review on the website! Imran, our friendly waiter, attended to our every need and didn’t laugh too loud when a couple of steaks were ordered by the ‘sat-navs’.
The journey back on the train was swift and comfortable, even for Keithee who continued on to Crewe. Uncontrollable Tone was driving back from Derby; and surely with the aid of a rejuvenated ‘sat-nav’ team of Rob and Keith they wouldn’t get lost again?? Surely not !!
Derby, with a host of undiscovered pubs, including the Alexandra Hotel, the Olde Dolphine Inn, the Standing Order and the Flower Pot. will definitely be included on our list of future destinations; and who knows, the ‘sat-navs’ might not get lost next time.
Cheers
Yupmeister
Enjoy yer baltis.