WHO ATE ALL THE PIES? NECKEND 3 February 2006
(Flick to the end to see if
you were right)
Attendees 14 No: -
|
Ali
Gee |
RGBargee |
Keithee |
Yupmeister |
Stubbee |
|
Richee |
Nigel
No-el |
Bernie the
Bolt |
Pedro |
Picasso |
|
Midweek
Tone |
Dave
C’een |
Mc
C’een |
Steve
Morgan |
|
The evening started with a
breakaway group Ali Gee and Keithee embarking on an adventure to rescue RGBargee
from the academics up in the heady heights of
Meanwhile the main group of
Squarites gathered at the Westbury Tavern to begin the race to neck as many ales
as is physically possible in one night with out overtopping. The roar of the
Squarrite support vehicle was heard resulting in a frenzy of pint downing and
the journey commenced, picking up stragglers………… on route.
At 18:10 the three breakaway Squarrites set off for their next adventure,
which was to take them along a series of darkened windy secret passages that are
common in the neck-end locality. The trek took the travellers past a variety of
dimly lit hovels in the lowlands that then led to the base of the mountain where
the Squarrite meeting was scheduled. Ali Gee, who was familiar with the terrain,
demonstrated his prowess in hill climbing with his new power pack, led the group
from the front. Halfway up the mountain the passageway emerged into a modern
roadway with electric lights. The journey became easier for a while until,
without any warning, the footway came to an abrupt end making further advances
up the mountain perilously dangerous with conflict with the raving neck-end
driver inevitable. With a new section of the footway in sight a mad dash was
made for safety, only to be thwarted by a neck-end gritter that was waiting in
ambush behind one of the two storey huts.
Having removed the bulk of the grit from their eyes the party progressed.
Not wanting to approach the secret Squarry meeting place without back-up the
three waited in the shadows for the arrival of the Squarrite support vehicle,
which arrived precisely on time at 18:30 hours. Realising the arrival of a
sizeable force of Squarrites the owner of the meeting rooms (the
The meeting rooms were found to be most acceptable with a variety of
beverages on offer. The party quickly formed themselves into teams and drinks
were ordered including London Pride, Alchemist, Arbour light and a John Smiths
with a dash for Dashing Stevee. The teams soon huddled around small tables,
clutching their much-deserved drinks and began the serious curry debate. After
only a few issues had been discussed the group was joined be Nigel No-el who had
slipped the clutches of Mrs Pinfold through an unlocked window and made his way,
unaided, to the meeting.
The debate soon focused on the important issue of whether or not it was
time to move to the next scheduled meeting place (the Corner Pin) or whether it
was safe to remain in the current establishment. The decision made and a fresh
onslaught to the serving hatch made.
If the much praised Ale was not enough a feast of homemade pork pies
arrived. The task of dissecting the pies into bite-sized chunks was given to
Bernie the Bolt, who leapt at the opportunity to prove himself. Silence then
befell the room only to be disturbed by the clicking of razor sharp teeth and
the occasional “ bugger I’ve bit my lip”.
Feast over and Richee lit a tree trunk to complete his impersonation of
Boycie/Dell Boy, we were not sure which.
All too soon the time was approaching the next stage and climax to the
evening events, whereby, Ali Gee fluent in Neck-endish, ordered three Taxis.
Upon arrival a mad dash was made by Keithee, Pedro and Picasso to get into Nig
No-els car (obviously all too mean to pay for a taxi), after bribing him with a
Coke.
Upon arrival at the Curry venue, the Massoon Masala, the staff welcomed
the fine body of hardened diners whose appetites for curry had been honed to
peak performance. Whilst the staff were gearing themselves up for the onslaught
of demands for immediate servings of food and copious quantities of ale and red
wine (mmm red wine), Pedro related his having had 8 teeth removed and replaced
with 8 specially developed heavy duty curry chomping
weapons.
Whilst distracted by thoughts
of planning the next Xmas mystery curry adventure Yuppy ordered ‘soup of the
day’ and disclosed that we will be ordering Ruggy shirts for the next team
uniform. I can hear the major
fashion gurus leaping into action already to keep pace with the latest fashion
trends.
Soon several bottles of
Australian Shiraz Red Wine, (mmm red wine), appeared on the table and the
feasting began. Dashing Stevee was
seen tucking into his lime pickle with a dash. Pedro said he was lucky because
Picasso was paying for his meal as well as the bus. Picasso said bollocks. More
Red Wine ordered, (mmm red wine), and the troughing continued in
earnest.
A bunch of women from social services were sitting behind us. It was debatable who was making the most
noise. Someone asked me to note that Ruth Ellis was the last woman to be hanged.
Don’t know where that came from. D
C’een had a sneezing bout much to Nig No-els delight. Dashing Stevee commented that there was
nothing left on Bernie the Bolts plate to which Bernie gobbed a mouthful of rice
over several troughers.
The meal was over all too soon and following much prising open of little
used purses, was paid for. The call went up for Sambuka. The tray full of
flaming drinks, brighter than an invasion beacon, was soon delivered, which
prompted several Squarrites to attempt suicide by fire.
All over, taxis were ordered, Keithee rang Mrs P for a lift and Mc C’een
said Brrrrrrrrrrr. No one knows why.
Yours
Keithee ‘I’m on for
it’
PS It was good to
see Pedro and Picasso were able to join us and I am sure that we all wish them
the best for the future.
PPS All thoughts to Grand pop
Bill who is stuck in hospital. Hope he recovers soon.
