Jimmy Spices 28 June 2013

Seven spicers (Jaycee, Yuppy, Stubbee, Craigee, Ali Gee, Dave Bolt and Granpop Bill) met at Stoke Station excited about the variation to the normal curry doo and eager to gorge on the banquet offered at Jimmy Spices.

The eighth spicer stood outside the station looking confused and as JC approached the entrance Pedro sidled up asking ‘where are we going today?’. This is despite sending out a number of emails and a coloured route map particularly for Pedro.

On the journey down to Birmingham Bill was telling how he had being down before to suss out the route from New Street to Edgbaston Cricket Ground. Bearing in mind our first task was to find our way out of the recently modernised New Street Station and as Bill knew the way we decided to follow him.

The train pulled into the station and we all followed Bill to get off the platform, unfortunately he couldn’t find the way out, and this was off the platform. (Good job he’d been before).

We spotted an exit sign and made our way to the control barriers where Keithee, Sean of the County Wounties and 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon were waiting.

‘I’m parched’, said Ali Gee, ‘how far is it to the first pub’. Within two minutes of leaving the station we arrived at the Shakespeare and little smiles appeared on people’s faces. Before you could say ‘To be or not to be’, Bicky and Standback Dave appeared. Bicky asked ‘does anyone want a drink?’, as we all stood there with full glasses.

Bicky gave Yuppee a M&S bag and asked if he could give it to Mid Week Tone (who was in Crete).  Unfortunately Yuppee was more interested in showing his white teeth as he had used a special paste to lift the enamel.

Suddenly, Pedro became very excited as he had recognised the barman who used to serve in the Station pub in Bridgenorth.

Keithee said ‘this is a cracking pub with a nice relaxed atmosphere’. Pedro chirped up why do we always go to the good pubs first and never finish up in a good one. (Little did he know?)

JC was under pressure to drink up and keep to the timetable, but unflappable as ever he said ‘take your time, this day is totally flexible and 15 or 20 minutes here or there is no problem’, giving him time to finish his pint.

With all glasses empty we made our way towards the Wellington. On route Yuppee pointed out a beautiful building which was the pub with the big arm chairs. (Formerly the National Provincial Bank of England)

Being totally flexible JC said ‘let’s go in’. The inside was beautiful and designed for the most upmarket connoisseur. Keithee was very negative at first because it was a cut above the normal spit and sawdust pubs he frequents and he thought it only had one beer (The Lost Gold) which was priced at 5p more than he normally pays for a pint.

Pedro spotted the barman serving all drinks in Jugs and went into a Mexican hat dance, crying, ‘let’s stay here, let’s stay here’.

Bill was peckish and said that he needed a pie. After downing a pint he left the pub to trawl the streets saying that he would meet us in the Wellington. Good job 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon didn’t hear him or he would have gone as well.

By now Keith had settled down and both he and Ali Gee became twitchers and sat watching a stuffed bird standing in a cage.

Yuppee cried, ‘get No13 Oakhams’.  Craigee said, ‘13 is superstitious, I’m having something else’.

Ali Gee sunk a couple of pints and then said ‘shall we share a Skull Splitter 8.5%’. Yuppee said ‘go for it’. Don’t know who he shared it with but JC and Sean didn’t get a sip.

JC, Sean & Yuppee had a debate over Kay Alexander (Former BBC News Presenter) who was having a pint now she is retired. She wanted to join the squarry club but Bicky was worried that she could drink more than he could, so her application was rejected.

Dave Bolt said the pub was great but the beer was shit. This was because he had discovered that one of the bar staff was a vale fan.

The pub didn’t sell food but provided plates and cutlery if you took your own. 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon was so impressed with this and asked the Barmaid for a packet of nuts.

We decided to sit on the next table to Kay Alexander where 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon & JC debated if they were in the same year at school. After 4 pints 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon didn’t know if he went to St Joseph’s or St Dominic’s.

We vacated the Wellington and made our way to Broad Street. The boys wanted a photo shoot with some floosy, while Bicky sat watching the real thing (a big busty blonde).

Dave Bolt was bemused by the M&S bag as it kept appearing everywhere we went.

By the time we arrived at the Tap & Spile we had lost half the group. A display of Smart Cars had got them excited and they decided to play how many people can you fit into a Smart car. After being told to clear off by the display team they arrived at the pub only to find that two pumps had run out.

Dave Bolt was ready for anything and decided that jumping the canal was achievable considering that he was only 44 years old. He chickened out when he thought Shafali could see him from the mailbox.

We moved to Jimmy Spices and were shown to our table, then a bigger table to accommodate that blasted M&S bag.

Ali Gee had numerous plates full to capacity, both Sean and Pedro were envious of how much he could eat.

Bill had more deserts than Sarah Lee, Pedro had main course after main course, then emptied the display of Liquorice Allsorts into his extra-large glasses case to take home for a midnight feast with Joan.

Stubbee was like a guinea pig (continual feeder) and was still hungry when we left. Craigee and Dave Bolt became engrossed in an eating frenzy finishing off with a Mr Whippy icecream and raspberry sauce.

Sean didn’t want anything too hot so went for the spicy chicken, jalfrazi and volcano sauce. 2 Pie R’d Dave semi-colon was very quiet munching his way through a little bit of this and a little bit of that until he could eat no more. Standback Dave paced himself eating steadily from 17:15 to 19:00 without coming up for breath. Bicky was thinking of his stealth like figure and ate only 5 plates of healthy food.

JC reminded everyone that we had to be out by 7pm to get the early bird offer. The Bill was requested and Pedro said ‘I have calculator on my phone that I bought off Tony’. He divided the total by 13 and gave us the amount we had to pay. It ended up that we were £20 short. Pedro intimated that Tony had pulled a fast one and sold him a phone with a broken calculator. The real truth was Pedro could not use a calculator. JC sorted the Bill out while the rest of the group filled their pockets with sweets, cake and chocolate to eat walking to the train.

Stubbee even grabbed an ice cream.

We made our way to O’Neill’s to listen to some Irish music and have a whiskey. No-one told the group that we were coming so they never turned up.

We headed back to the station via the scenic route along the canal, and through The Mail Box and finished off in the beautiful Shakespeare Pub where we started the day.

Ali Gee decided not to join us and went into Uppercrust for a pie.

The day had come to an end and all the excitement was over, so we thought.

We went into the station and descended on platform 8b to catch the homeward bound train. Within minutes a train arrived, parked up and the driver went home.

A second train pulled in on the other side of the station and everyone started rushing past us and turmoil pursued. A foreign lady was cursing as she had missed two trains already due to the station operator’s changing platforms at the last minute.

The penny dropped with the spicers and Roger Bannister’s record was broken as they scaled bridges and dodged High Speed Trains to get to Platform 7b. Luckily the driver had gone for a poo so we were able to get on, settle down and ponder the day’s events.

Overall a good day was had by all with the group well fed and watered.

Jaycee