PROFILES

(In alphabetical order)

Ali ‘The Power’ Gee	A neckender with a green goddess; a dangerous combination.  Always out for a catch but hardly successful as his snoring frightens off the fish.  Favourite pub - The Bluebell in Kidsgrove.  A darts champion and a previous rover man.  Full of heart.
Andy ‘Picasso’	An artist if ever there was one.  A Newcastle burra wolla and a lager boy to boot.
Andy Meander	A father of three so far and a bit of a cad… expert.  Must be the luck of the draw.
Argee Bargee	A chip off the old mans block.  A fine young student of the real ale, fishing and bus timetables. Also a season ticket holder for Stoke for the last five years and for many years to come, also a fan of the levellers.  Legally becomes a squarrite in July 05.
Beardee	Owner of the world’s brightest stilo.  A novice in the organisation world for race meetings.  Hates oily curries, flying, exercise of any kind, crusts and rinds.  A Lord Lichfield in the photographic world and as a consequence can supply carrot cake topping to order.  Ensures he gets pole position wherever possible.   Main downfall is his taste for smoothflow.
Brockee	Um er er  makes a decision deliberately but surely.  Hooked on e-bay but often misses out on the final decision to bid. 50/50 with partner in crime Ali G, organising trips to cricket and football matches.
BrollyWolly Man from Talke Talke	A new bee Squarrit. Loves his ale to be golden and considers fish makes the best curry. Considers himself the Tom Daily (Diving only please) of the Squarry Club and still holds the club record for the longest and most technical curry house dive.
Col – Squire of ‘Sonny’ Stockton Brook	Mindful of his bad knee, Col was also a founder member of the squarry club.  Now retired (although you wouldn’t believe it) he can only afford one luxury car. A man of many talents including being a master plucker of a ukulele and lead singer of classic rugby songs.
Craigee 50/50	Yet another Beardee boy.  Never quite sure which option to take and generally opts for 50/50.  Can offer assistance to race goers on their bets.  Another lager boy.
D Ceen his wallet	Lost his glasses in Munich, and his wallet in Prague; whatever next? A big Stoke supporter and has been known to vent his feelings on the manager.  Not generally known for his patience despite the training courses.  A rotweiler in sheep’s clothing perhaps.  Size of bladder becoming a problem.  Once he’s been he can’t stop.  Swallows paracetomols before retiring to avoid headaches.
Dave ‘Boing’	Returns again and again for more, but only turns up at the odd cricket match.  Needs more experience in limiting his intake.
Dave Bolt from the blue	Not much help where IT is involved, and hates computers.  Has been spotted diving for cover on trains for 40 winks.  Another diver, but only in the murky waters of England.
Dee Tee	An original squarrite.  Experienced a spell with the TA member at one stage of his career and as a union rep.  A surveyor of real ale, an aged Jethro Tull fan, and keen on King Prawn.
Gerben	It took Dutch courage for Gerben to join the squarrites during his current stay in this country, but has became a true real ale fan after only a couple of barrels.  A diving instructor to date, picks up blisters easily, but hopes to get a real job one day.
Granpop Bill	Can’t get enough of work.  Retired, but returned for another innings, A cricket guru and never reluctant to grab a place in the taxi.  Since returning he has taken on a new lease of life since joining the club.  Falls in love with foreign parts quickly, and is now a granddad.
Heavy Steve Machine	Too good a squash player to join the squarry club full time so joins in at Christmas only.  Regularly plays 2 or 3 hours of squash followed by a few hours of tennis, and a few hours falling out with his neighbours.
Ian Seeweed	A dark horse.  Talks a good challenge of eating the hottest curry and drinking anyone under the table, but never gets past the first pint.
Ian the Terrier	A recent newcomer to the club.  A land expert allegedly and an honorary Beardee boy.
Jacko	Audibly identifiable by his hearty laughter, particularly after a beer or two.  Gout a hindrance, but still manages to hobble about. The Alan Whicker guru of the club, having travelled the world.  Being a font of all knowledge any crossword is a 5 minute tease.
Jay Cee	Reluctantly became a county woller in the new millennium.  Has been seen with a little nob.  Prefers to sup his ale at a leisurely pace followed by intermittent faster paces to the bogs, but only after DCeen has made the trip!  Tends to go missing at railway stations.
Joe Tuohy	Sadly, our great friend Joe passed away in 2017. It has been an honour and privilege to have met Joe and been one of his pals for so many years. Joe, as his previous profile read, was a true real ale buff.  His memory was amazing to be able to remember so much about ale and to be able to keep cracking the oldest jokes in town.  He loved music and playing guitars, occasionally joining Ali G and Brockee for a jamming session. We’ll never forget Joe and have such fond memories.
Keithee	Always on for it, well, almost always.  Makes a tremendous effort despite living in Sandbach.  Enjoys his (nobbys) nuts and the odd bottle of wine or three.  For some reason never recollects the evening’s proceedings after the first hour.
Malc jay	Visits indians in America ! What dedication to the cause.  On call 24 hours of the day, and not only to his other half.
Matt ‘Nice-one’	A limited innings to date but room for development.  Religiously following in the Cork footsteps and is a rent collector allegedly.
Matt ‘Silver Bear’	A rattler and a Thomas the tank train spotter.  Prefers to ask questions rather than answer them; like, ‘will you do my homework Keith?’  Not someone you would want to include in your pub quiz team, or to be your pilot.  Loves nan bread sandwiches off the trolley but refuses to divulge for the sake of the great north run.  Enjoys to chat??
Mc Ceen his student loan	A chip off the old block and another Stokie.  An ex poor student allegedly of Manchester and makes an appearance whenever possible.  Has been known to sit in traffic jams for hours to get to a squarree.  Being taught the beauty of whisky by his tutor.
Mid week Tone	One of the founder members of the club.  Now a mid-century man and our very own in-house CAMRA and caravan expert.  Never seen out mid-week unless turning out for a Stoke game.  Only stops drinking when he’s ill.
Mo Who	Once capable of cleaning not only his balti dish but several others in one sitting.  Could be a contender with top eater Stubbee.  Also has a bladder complaint but only after dairy products; perhaps it’s the oatcakes.  One of the most big-hearted squarrites you are ever likely to meet.  Mo-ved to new pastures, as far as possible away from Stoke, but still makes an effort to rejoin the club whenever possible.
Moon Beam	A Bobby Ball of the club bracing himself for whatever is thrown at him within the little spare time he’s got.  The City’s ex ‘gentleman’ enforcer and mad professor from Rupert the Bear. Spends his time crossing the Channel and Offa's Dyke helping/house moving etc. for his daughters.
Nige (noel)	Never short in assisting in organising a walk in the Peaks.  Takes many a fall, particularly at xmas but manages to bounce back up again.  On a par when organising golf society matches and can putt on a mean London stare in one.  His claim to fame is that he is immortalised in the Sham 59 song about Hersham boys.
Pedro	A chicken chat and jug man throughout.  Many attempts to kickstart him onto pappodoms have failed as he is reluctant to change a habit of a lifetime for the boys.  Has been known to almost buy a round.   Keep your distance from this man, at least 2 chevrons, and never cross him or he’ll cross you.
Phil Wok’n’Woll	A wild drummer boy with a taste for speedway, which he follows across Europe with gusto (whoever he is?).  Rocks hard and always Rolls.
Richee	One of the Beardee boys.  Favourite tele programme is Come Dancing.  A Lionel Blair fan.  Always up for it Matey.  Gradually becoming a Richmeister after indulging in the organisation of the trip to Budapest.  Not a real ale fan but more of a lager boy and wine buff.
Roadrunner	A late-comer who hails from the Milehouse, Newcastle but 'flitted' to Worcestershire to escape from a dark past which centred around sorties with Yup to the Placemate in the 70s. Currently holds the world record for the greatest number of trips to the loo during a Squarry event. The nickname "Roadrunner" originates from his love of running - to the loo !!!!!
Robbee Sparkee	A fully trained up sparky.  Once a man of the community in Stoke and now organises similar curry doos in Stafford
Scottee	Another Beardee boy.  Took the can but the rumour was rubbished.  Blakey impersonations are a speciality.  A lager boy and currently playing the character of Yosser Hughes in his own version of boys from the black bag stuff!
Shandy Boy Steevee	A very n’ice’ man.  Likes a dash with his beer and has almost been thrown out of the most respectable real ale pubs because of his abusive language – I’ll have a dash in that please!  Never has a starter for 10 and on a good day will have a strong Pasanda.  A smooth operator - just like his currys!
Sid	Sid, 36-36-36, thinning hair, answered an advert for bowls night 'meet similar, beer drinking, fun loving, curry eating, piss-taking Stokies for fun night out'. Been coming ever since, not sure about foreign trips 'it means nothing to me.’
Spikelett	Would you buy a second hand car from this man?  A hot and fruity curry fan.  Seen on many an occasion to take a stroll for a breath of fresh air and doesn’t always return.  Has shares in Walkers crisps, loves the strongest of strong ales and donning leathers.  A meticulously detailed past organiser of walks but has recently become drawn into extending his ponderosa.
Stubbee	Temporarily re-named Chukkee, on account of his exploits in Knutsford.  A chicken chat boy and videomeister, although has been put out of action after his recorder was ‘dropped’.  Has a further talent of being able to eat as much as everybody else put together without gaining any weight. (Hopefully he will pay for it later)
Triglett	Our in-house wine expert.  Has been known to send wine back on numerous occasions after just a single sniff.  Now living in never never land and relies on the organ grinder for lifts.
Turkish Tone aka gadget man aka overseas treasurer	Only been a member of the squarry crew for a short while big stoke fan chief football scammer kodi aficionado when first introduced to the squarry club yup nicknamed me gadget man due apparently to my resemblance to the presenter of a certain channel 5 show recently changed to Turkish tone on last years burger hoff trip due to a mix up with some Turkish lira which I put in accidently of course when paying for our first meal in Frankfurt was appointed overseas treasurer on last years trip and given a plastic bag by I think JC which was from there on known as, the "kitty"
Utterly Butterly	Utterly, not an Engineer but a Surveyor turned to the dark side and set up his own consultancy. Works away too much but trying to get back into the squarry fold. Adopted Stokie, likes a hobgoblin or Newcastle Brown with a Jalfrezi.
Yupmeister	Organiser and webmeister.  Cooks a mean curry and loves real ale, J2O, Groundhogs and Jethro Tull.  Poor memory so always makes a note if he can remember.  One of the founder squash players and a marathon man but now takes it in his stride and prefers to relax and chill.  Never missed a curry night or a quarterly office walk, allegedly.  Frightened of everything in the animal kingdom from ants to elephants, and snores almost as loud as Ali Gee.